Boston, 1773
Boston Tea Spill
Colonial tea-tone acrylic with a tiny brass ring and a strong opinion about import duties.
Tiny keyrings. Monumental messes.
History, now pocket-sized and mildly questionable.
Portable Stains sells collectible acrylic keyrings inspired by the smudges, spills, soot, dust, mud, and ink that history politely forgot to clean up.
The catalog
Choose your favorite historical residue.
London, 1666
Great Fire Soot Dot
A smoky black charm for anyone who wants their keys to look recently evacuated.
Pompeii, 79 CE
Vesuvius Ash Drop
Matte grey acrylic, vaguely volcanic, and legally described as "not actual ash."
Mare Tranquillitatis, 1969
Moon Boot Dust
Silvery dust-effect plastic for keys that took one small step from the kitchen counter.
Waterloo, 1815
Waterloo Mud Splat
A glossy brown souvenir for optimists who still think their bag has a clean pocket.
Runnymede, 1215
Magna Carta Ink Blot
Deep blue-black acrylic, ideal for locking your bike with constitutional gravitas.
Berlin, 1989
Wall Graffiti Fleck
A bright pigment fleck for keys that insist they were there when everything changed.
Bayeux, 1066
Norman Banquet Splash
A wine-purple splodge inspired by the part of medieval dining nobody embroidered.
New Jersey, 1937
Hindenburg Scorch Smudge
Glossy smoke-black acrylic for keys that prefer arriving with excessive commentary.
Washington, 1972
Watergate Tape Smear
A magnetic brown-black streak with an 18-minute gap where the explanation should be.
Pripyat, 1986
Chernobyl Graphite Fleck
Lead-grey acrylic with a tiny warning stripe and absolutely no measurable anything.
Prince William Sound, 1989
Exxon Valdez Oil Dot
A pearly black puddle charm, certified spill-adjacent and aggressively non-toxic.
Berlin, 1990
Checkpoint Stamp Bleed
A bureaucratic purple blot for anyone whose house keys require documentary proof.
Every server room, 1999
Y2K Server Dust
Translucent grey dust from the night everyone politely panicked at a spreadsheet.
Florida, 2000
Hanging Chad Confetti
A tiny paper-pulp speckle for keys that still demand a recount before opening doors.
Iceland, 2010
Eyjafjallajokull Ash Smear
A flight-cancelling grey streak with a product name longer than most boarding queues.
Rio de Janeiro, 2016
Olympic Pool Tint
Blue-green acrylic inspired by that week the water briefly became a group project.
Great Exuma, 2017
Fyre Festival Cheese Slick
Processed-yellow nostalgia for a luxury disaster that arrived in a foam container.
Suez Canal, 2021
Ever Given Sand Scrape
A sandy beige skid mark for people whose keys are also very briefly blocking trade.
The internet, 2023
AI Prompt Ink Cloud
A smoky blue-purple blot that confidently explains your keys, with citations pending.
Rome, 44 BCE
Ides of March Senate Blot
Imperial red acrylic with enough political betrayal to make your keyring form a committee.
Sarajevo, 1914
Archduke Wrong Turn Drip
A burgundy road-map splodge for keys with extremely poor route planning.
Dallas, 1963
Grassy Knoll Shadow
A smoky olive-black charm for anyone whose keys have three competing explanations.
North Atlantic, 1912
Titanic Ice Ring Mark
A pale blue acrylic watermark for keys that were absolutely advertised as unsinkable.
Hiroshima, 1945
Atomic Shadow Smudge
A stark grey silhouette stain, deliberately abstract and entirely made of acrylic.
Siberia, 1908
Tunguska Tree Toast
A scorched amber burst for the keychain that arrived from space without an appointment.
Florida, 1986
Challenger Contrail Curl
A white-blue resin swirl for keys that come with a long pause and a quiet disclaimer.
Boston, 1919
Molasses Flood Gloss
A sticky-looking brown charm that moves slowly, costs extra, and ruins every pocket.
Washington, 1980
Mount St. Helens Ash Pop
A pale grey puff that suggests your keys have recently had a geological opinion.
Television, 1974
Resignation Ink Perspiration
A blue-black televised blot for keys leaving office before the lock changes.
Gulf of Mexico, 2010
Deepwater Gloss Blob
A black-blue shimmer with public-relations undertones and no actual petroleum content.
Chelyabinsk, 2013
Dashcam Meteor Dust
A silver-orange flash stain for keys best viewed through shaky dashboard footage.
Chernarus, fictional
Cold Beans Pocket Glaze
A tomato-orange acrylic splat for survivors who opened lunch with a screwdriver.
Cherno docks, fictional
Cherno Boot Mud
A grimy brown charm with the rich texture of running uphill from bad decisions.
Field hospital, fictional
Saline Bag Dewdrop
A clear blue resin drip for the friend who definitely knows which way the needle goes.
North-west airfield, fictional
Airfield Concrete Scuff
A grey runway scrape for keys that heard one distant shot and immediately went prone.
Somewhere inland, fictional
Ruined Tourist Map Ink
A folded blue-green blot that says "meet at the well" and means three different wells.
Abandoned hatchback, fictional
Radiator Leak Teardrop
A rusty green-blue charm for vehicles that move only after three philosophical repairs.
Village main road, fictional
Infected Hoodie Grime
A murky fabric stain that looks like it sprinted full speed through a hedge.
Coastal rainstorm, fictional
Soaked Spawn Rain Mark
A translucent storm-grey drip for keys that appeared on the beach with one pear.
Improvised backpack, fictional
Burlap Sack Fiber Shed
A scratchy tan fleck for minimalist survivors carrying nine cans and no opener.
Corner shop shelf, fictional
Off-Brand Cola Fizz
A sticky cola-brown charm that restores thirst, morale, and absolutely nothing else.
Important provenance note
Every stain is fake. Every backstory is doing too much.
These are parody novelty keyrings made from invented acrylic designs. No relics, artifacts, battlefields, manuscripts, lunar surfaces, or public monuments were harmed, borrowed, scraped, rehydrated, notarized, or asked for permission.
Basket
Your portable past
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